


Aftermath

by jeaninematthewsx



Category: Divergent - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Divergent, Fanfiction, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 20:09:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11699043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeaninematthewsx/pseuds/jeaninematthewsx
Summary: She just can't seem to win.Her life falls apart.She loses her job.Now she's in prison, stuck to either fight, or let herself die in a cold, dark cell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is my first time publishing on AO3. I hope this is slightly enjoyable.  
> The plot changes drastically from Chapter one so enjoy.

I walk up Jeanine's front walk, and I'm immediately met by a man I recognise as Dom Collins. An Erudite guard who trained in Dauntless. I realise he's been assigned to guard Jeanine's house, as she is a target of Divergent rebels right now. Not a target- rather the sole and most important target.  
I had to see if she was alright- whether she liked it or not. She's almost always rejected my care and compassion for her.  
I am soon face to face with Dom.  
He raises an eyebrow at me immediately, but doesn't move from his stiff stance.  
I know he recognises me- I can see it slowly spread across his expression. He's most likely seen me with Jeanine around Erudite HQ.  
"May I gain clearance?" I ask, and he looks me up and down.  
I know he's wondering my name, so I say it before he can even ask.  
"Ben Harrows. Call Jeanine if you wish." I say. That is how one gains clearance into Jeanine's house- through her approval only.  
He takes out a phone, not taking his eyes off me.  
He's rather good at his job.  
"Jeanine? Am I to allow a man by the name of Ben Harrows in?"  
He pauses.  
He nods at me, ending the call and opening the door to let me in.  
I'm sure he's a bit frustrated with how boring this shift has been, it's not as if anyone has tried to attack Jeanine or I wouldn't have been let in.  
He closes the door behind me as I enter.  
The room was dimly lit, and I could hear nothing. Absolute silence. I can see about as much as i can hear- pretty much nothing.  
I walk in a little farther, noting that her house hasn't changed at all.  
I find her sitting on her black couch, posture perfectly straight, hands folded in her lap.  
She'd probably straightened up when she heard the door open. There's no way she can sit so perfectly all the time, I doubt she has enough core strength for that.  
She glances up at me briefly before going back to staring off at the wall. The way she is acting strikes me as strange, even considering her unusual way of doing everything.  
I sit down next to her on the couch and she stiffens quickly. I didn't even have to touch her for her to go as stiff as a board. I notice quickly that she's clenching her jaw, and her face is red and blotchy. Probably from crying, even if that was unlike her. Tears of frustration, no doubt.  
Apart from these minor details, she seems to be acting as she usually is.  
We sit in silence, tension heavy in the air.  
Still, all I can hear is my breathing and her breathing. It seems to me she's breathing more quickly than usual. Stress is beginning to physically roll her, no doubt.  
She glances at me, assessing me with that all knowing look of hers.  
"Hey." I say finally while she stares at me.  
Her stare is blank and I don't sense the usual amount of racing thoughts.  
"Hello, Ben." she replies.  
She sounds horrible. Her voice is scratchy and I wonder how long it'll be before her voice goes completely.  
I know that her hoarseness is because of Tobias Eaton. Earlier today, he attempted to kill her by strangling her. I heard what happened through her employees that were present.  
When she spoke just a moment ago, I saw a small indication of pain flash across her expression. Just a twitch, but an indication no less.  
"Stop looking at me like I'm some sort of kicked dog, Ben." she snaps sharply, though most of the edge of her voice is lost because she can hardly speak. I sigh. She's being her stubborn, closed off self- though I can't exactly blame her for her attitude tonight. Everything she has spent the last two years working on has just crashed and burned within the sum of an hour. She has to try and hide how disappointed she is.  
I wrap an arm around her, and she tenses up immediately, pushing my hand off. "Let go of me if you value your life." she hisses, her voice cracking.  
She swallows, though I'm sure that can't feel good.  
I pull away, looking at her with a slight frown.  
She usually let me hug her, even if briefly. She didn't tonight. To protect herself, I supposed. I don't understand why she was so touchy about me getting close. It's not as if i'm touching her. I'm simply trying to sit down next to my friend.  
"Have you been crying?" I asks, and she glares at me. If looks could kill. I know she wants to yell at me, but I doubt she has it in her.  
"Don't speak." she says, closing her eyes.  
So I don't. But while she has her eyes closed, I rest my hand on hers, gently caressing the back of her hand with my thumb. She opens her eyes, and looks at me, but doesn't pull away this time. I can see the exhaustion on her face.  
"Your hands are warm." she comments, her voice lowering to a whisper. She looks back at the wall instead of at my face.  
"Are they?" I reply, and she nods.  
Again, silence falls between us.  
Almost telepathically, she answers the question I was asking myself in my mind.  
"I knew you'd just keep pestering me until I let you. No use trying to fight you off." she says, raising her voice a bit more so I can hear her more clearly.  
Obviously a mistake on her part. She starts coughing, and I look at her, my face full of concern and compassion.  
She rolls her eyes at my kindness.  
"What? Can I not cough without you regulating me? I'm fine, Ben." she says. I know speaking must be somewhat painful, even though it's been hours since she was attacked. I worry for her.  
I take her hand instead of just rubbing it, and she closes her eyes again. She inhales through her nose and exhales through her mouth, obviously trying to destress, or even relax just a little.  
I still find it slightly shocking that she maintains a perfectly straight posture.  
She's so stiff and uptight, it hurts me to see.  
I know maybe she'll let me hold her if I let her take it slow.  
This couch is so stiff, and uncomfortable. I think she bought it simply because it's nice looking, not because it's practical.  
She has a more comfortable couch in her home library.  
She sighs before letting go of my hand and moving from the couch to the floor.  
What the hell, Jeanine? How is that more comfortable than this awful couch?  
She leans against the bottom half of the couch. She is so hard to understand, and her mannerisms are anything but normal.  
I guess that's why I was drawn to being around her in the first place.  
I don't agree with her change in location, but i'm not going to pass up sitting next to her.  
So I move down onto her unforgiving hardwood floor.  
She crosses her legs at her ankles and straightens both her skirt and her posture.  
I cant help but roll my eyes. I guess she needs some of her pride back, I won't judge her too harshly.  
I bring my arm around her again, gently forcing her head to the side so she'd rest her head on my shoulder. She knows she can't fight me forever.  
She reluctantly puts her weight against me. She's trembling all over, just barely noticeably.  
I pull my arm back and rest my hand against the floor to hold the both of us up. I just let her lean against me.  
This isn't the most comfortable I've ever been, but it's doable.  
I look down at her face, and I see that a tear has streaked down her face. I don't say anything- I pretend not to notice. She doesn't need me pointing out the weakness she hates so much.  
So we continue our stint of silence, with her head resting on my shoulder and my hand behind her but not on her.  
She finally decides to speak up.  
"I'm scared, Ben." I hear her scratchy voice after about five minutes of silence. She sounds more scared than I've ever really heard her.  
Her life is now at stake. Of course she's scared. Most human beings would be scared of such a thing.  
"I know you are, Jeanine." I sigh.  
I decide to wrap an arm around her regardless of how she'd react.  
She stiffens, trying to push me off. Why is she resisting so hard without even explaining?  
"Hey. Why are you pushing me away so hard? I understand not wanting to be touched, but can you at least explain?" I say, slightly irritated.  
I take my arm away because clearly it was making her uncomfortable, and I don't want her to end up hitting me.  
"I don't want to be touched." she snaps firmly. She is such a pain.  
She isn't explaining her true feelings, but it's not like she's ever opened up and cried while telling me how she felt. That is not Jeanine's personality at all.  
I respect her wishes and don't wrap my arm around her again. I don't bother speaking, I just keep my hand away from her.  
She gets quiet, and within five minutes, I hear nothing but slow, even breathing.  
She fell asleep.  
Finally. She needs sleep so badly- I know it's been days since she slept more than four or five hours a night.  
Why she always works herself to a point of exhaustion, I don't know.  
I hear the door open, and suddenly Dom was standing next to us. I look up at him and give him a slight smile.  
"She fell asleep, then?" he says quietly, looking more concerned than I would've thought he'd have been.  
I nod.  
"Yes. Has anything happened?" I ask softly. I worry he came in because there's a problem.  
He shakes his head. "No, I decided to check on her." He explains.  
I nod, humming to myself.  
I know that if she wakes up now, she won't go back to sleep and she will drag herself through tomorrow, exhausted.  
I'd seen her go about 2 1/2 days without sleep. She could do it, but near the end she'd always be falling asleep for short periods of time near the end and then jolting awake. I'd end up forcing her to go take a nap (which she saw no point in as she'd probably already taken an Advil, therefore it would go away soon and she could keep working.).  
She was a stubborn workaholic.  
"She won't let me touch her." I say when I see him staring at the weird position the two of us are in.  
"She did get attacked. I don't exactly blame her." he shrugs.  
I sigh. He's right, maybe that's why she's being so touchy and weird.  
"Good point. This... is unlike anything she's really experienced." I say.  
I glance back down at the sleeping woman against me.  
Maybe I could try comforting her one more time.  
I slowly put an arm around her.  
But of course, that wakes her up.  
"I'm fine, Ben, and what did i tell you about putting an arm around me?" I heard Jeanine's voice. I could tell she was still exhausted- and she was very close to losing her voice. I'm sure she's already had a medical exam. It's nearly 11 pm, so it had to be earlier today. I doubt her assistant would allow her to go without being looked over.  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were awake. I can't imagine this is comfortable for you, I thought maybe that would help..." I try and reason with her.  
She sits up just a little to face her guard.  
"Is everything alright, Dom?" she asks, straining her voice.  
"Yes, I was just making sure of that. I'll be outside." he says, turning to leave.  
Before he can leave, Jeanine adds one more statement.  
"Dom, do yourself a favour and call a replacement. That's obligatory." she calls out, wincing and rubbing her neck at the burning she probably just felt.  
"Alright, ma'am, if you insist." he nods, and walks out of the door.  
The door closes, and once again it's just Jeanine and I.  
I look down at her, and bring her closer to me like she's been before.  
"Go back to sleep. I won't put my arm around you. You just need rest to face your day." I said, and I watch her chew the inside of her lip. "You know I wasn't completely asleep. I was close, but not quite." she says, immediately coughing in attempt to regain her voice.  
I watch as she tries to speak again, and all that comes out is something like a squeak.  
She cringes in frustration. I know she's very unhappy with the loss of her vocal power.  
"I know you hate this. Just rest your voice." I say gently, stroking her hair. She finally relaxes and rests her full weight against me. Finally.  
She exhales slowly, adjusts her jacket, and lets her facial muscles relax.  
"Goodnight, Jeanine." I whisper.  
She decides to lie down in my lap, which is more comfortable for the both of us.  
I run the tips of my fingers up and down her back, moving her hair out of her face and away from her neck. It'll be a long night on the floor, but oh well. Sacrifices must be made.  
She'd let down her defences, but just for tonight's rest. She'd have to go back to being the version of herself everyone else knew. But it's alright, I know the real her. This is the real Jeanine, and i'm content with only seeing her sometimes.  
I hear her clear her throat a few times. just enough to get out one sentence.  
"Goodnight, Ben. Thank you." she whispers. I smile to myself. "You're welcome, Jeanine. Sleep well."  
It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep. I am beginning to drift off to sleep as well. We were both on the floor- the hardwood floor. It was terribly uncomfortable, for me, anyway.  
But it was alright- I'm tired enough not to be too particular about this situation.  
It is suitable.  
As long as Jeanine is calmed down.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later- It's all fallen apart. Jeanine has been taken down, and put in prison.   
> The only thing stopping Evelyn from shooting Jeanine is Ben-   
> But what if he can't help anymore?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, 8 people who have read this.   
> I already have chapter 2 written and posted on wattpad, so I shall also post it on here.

I am nothing but restless these days.  
Most people are restless because of sitting still too long, or because of caffeine intake. For once, I can't relate to ether of those.   
I'm restless because my best friend is in prison. Not relatable at all.   
After Tris Prior gained support from the Dauntless and Factionless, Jeanine and her regime didn't stand a chance.   
I watched from a distance- Jeanine pushed me away- as it all fell apart.   
As it turns out, Jeanine was wrong. Very, very wrong. Divergents... they weren't the problem. And of course, she sought out killing them.   
For the greater good.   
Even I was surprised by how it turned out.   
I tried to be there for her. But after that Friday that she let me stay the night at her house, it was over. The closeness of our friendship was no longer a priority in her logically laid out life.   
Jeanine Matthews does what she does best, and built up her walls.   
I continued to try so hard. I sent her texts reminding her to take care of herself.   
I was left on read every time.   
It hurt, I got tired of her pushing me away, so I quit trying.   
I stopped worrying, and virtually forgot about her place in my life.   
But now, as I pace around my bedroom, the worry is back. Just as it was before.   
I have bargained with Evelyn to promise not to kill her. Evelyn agreed, but that woman is virtually unpredictable.   
Jeanine could still be murdered at any time.   
And that makes me want to throw up.   
I close my eyes, take in a sharp breath, and then grab my jacket.   
It's time to visit my best friend for the first time in months. 

 

"I'd like to see Jeanine Matthews."  
I stare at the Dauntless man with a bold look on my face. I probably look like a mouse trying to stand up to a cat, I'm sure.   
He scoffs. "Not possible. No one sees her." He tries to dismiss me, but I'm not done with him.   
I clench my fists. "Let me see her. I'm no threat to you, I have no weapons. Please." I try to reason.   
The man just stares me down with dark eyes.  
I think he knows I'm going to bother him until I get the answer i want.   
"10 minutes. She doesn't deserve any more." he says, stepping to the side.   
Haha, point for Ben.   
I walk forward into this prison. I ignore my temptation to explore this area I've never been in, that would be a waste of one.   
I spot her cell and come to the door.  
I am surprised she's not in solitary confinement.   
She doesn't see me at first. She's just kind of staring off, clearly bored out of her mind. I'm sure her mind is still rushing with a million thoughts, undoubtedly.   
"Jeanine."  
Her head snaps up. "Ben."   
Her face lights up and she gets to her feet. I haven't seen that look on her face in so long. Hell, I haven't even seen her face in so long.   
I am the only familiarity I'm sure she's seen in days. This must be fairly exciting.   
"Hi, Jeanine. Did they hurt you?" I say, pressing my hand to the clear door.   
She walks closer to me, only about six inches away. "No, they didn't. Why are you here?" she asks, her eyes slightly squinted. One of her eyebrows is raised up like it is when she's upset or frustrated.   
"I can't stop thinking of someone shooting you in here. I don't want you dead." I say. I'm desperate to just hug her, make her accept my compassion.   
But I highly doubt the door will be opened. One can hope.   
She sighs, and closes her eyes.   
"Evelyn tried. Her son showed up and told her not to murder another person, which shocked me, but I accepted any grace I could receive. He said something about Prior wanting to use me." she says, looking back up at me after glancing down at the floor.   
She doesn't know that I've convinced Evelyn to keep her alive. Prior may still want to use her, but I have done my job to protect her well.  
"I guess that's better than nothing, yeah?" I say, letting my face scrunch up with concern. It's only half genuine, given that I know the truth.   
"Yes, it is, and calm down, Ben. I am fine. Okay? The only thing that's bruised is my dignity." she says, lifting her hand to cover mine on the glass.   
I can't help but smile. "Your poor dignity, do you need some ice for that?" I ask, and she rolls her eyes at me.  
See, I almost believed her about her not being injured. She's very convincing.   
But as I look her over, I see a bright white bandage on her leg.   
That sneaky little liar.   
I gasp. "What is that?"   
She immediately knows what i'm talking about.   
She tries to pull her dress down to cover it, but the fabric won't stretch. Cotton, I'm sure.   
"It's fine, it's not a big deal.." she tries to argue. She knows I'm going to flip out if she doesn't assure me that she's fine.  
Evelyn didn't mention this. I hope that she didn't do this, or I will kill that evil woman.   
"What the HELL happened? Tell me right now!" I say, hitting the door with the heel of my hand. She winces at the loud thump. I lose control of my anger now and then, especially when it involves Jeanine.   
"Tori Wu shot me, it's fine. I'm fine." she tries to continue trying to calm me. It doesn't work.   
I scowl. "I knew something was off! When did this happen?" I demand. I'm going to do it, I'm going to kill Evelyn.   
She looks over my face, her expression calm.  
"It happened the day I was imprisoned. It's not a huge deal, okay?" She says. I don't know how she's so calm. She becomes a different person when trying to help me gain control of my temper.   
I lose control of my words before I can stop myself.   
"No, Jeanine, it's not fine, because you SCREWED UP, and now you're going to DIE because of it. All you talked about is the greater good, but now you were SHOT and you're IN PRISON." I yell. My words sting even me.   
She goes silent.   
I don't know if i hurt her, or what. She doesn't speak.  
A rush of calm comes over me all too late.   
I bite my lip. "Jeanine. I'm sorry."   
She still doesn't speak. She just stares at me.   
Would she just look at something else already?  
Her silence continues.   
I definitely hurt the feelings she has locked up inside her emotional castle.   
"I didn't mean to hurt you, I just don't like you belittling your own pain." I try to reason. She takes a step back.   
If I don't do something, I'll have lost her again.   
I can't afford that a second time.   
I sigh, and close my eyes. "I'll be right back." I tell her.   
I approach the large man near the entrance.   
"Can i please be allowed in her cell? You can supervise." I plead. I don't favour pleading, but I'm worried i've ruined this relationship for good.   
He rolls his eyes. "What, are you her lover or something? You must be insane." He scowls, but he does come back with me.   
He scans a badge and the door clicks open.   
Jeanine doesn't react. Like she didn't even hear it.   
I walk in, and stare Jeanine down.   
She's sitting down now, anxious to get pressure off of her leg, I'm sure.  
I run a hand through my hair, and then let out a huff.   
"I am sorry. Please." I say, taking a deep breath in to try and calm my racing heart.   
I decide to wait a minute before saying something else.   
But I don't even get to 30 seconds later when she pipes up.   
"You're not wrong. You're just speaking the thoughts in my mind out loud. Making my worries reality." She says, looking up at me. She talks about this like it isn't a sensitive matter. Her feelings have never been a priority in her life.   
I sigh. This is quite the difficult situation.   
"Let me hold you. Please get past your pride and let me hold you."  
I hope this works.   
I watch her eyes go back and forth across my face. Taking in how i'm feeling, no doubt.   
I watch her let out her own soft sigh.   
"One hug. I'll accept one hug." she says, getting up. She smooths out her dress, and straightens out her posture.   
I notice the limp she has that i didn't see before. It must hurt to walk on her leg.   
I pull her close to me before she's ready, forcing her to lean on me.   
This is my favourite kind of hug- I call it the "Let me force my affection on Jeanine" hug. I love it.   
I rest my chin on the top of her head and rock her back and forth just a little. She doesn't exactly relax against me like i'd like her to, but i'll take what i can get.   
I know she only said one hug, but i'm going to make the most of this one hug and give her all i've got. Even if this makes her want to vomit from how sappy and compassionate it is.   
"You are a very important person to me. I don't care what they do to you in here, you will always be important." I say, instinctively running my fingers up and down her back. I feel that she's lost weight since I last forced a hug on her.   
She still doesn't speak. I know it's not like her to be openly sentimental, but something in me knows that she needed this. Even if she will never say it.   
About 10 seconds later, I decide she's had enough.   
"Do you need medical attention for your leg, or has it been taken care of?" I ask, pulling back to look at her while I speak.   
I'm still holding onto her shoulders, which she doesn't mind near as much as a hug.   
"It has been handled. I get pain medication with my meals. I don't know who arranged that, but it's been happening." She says, looking me in the eye.   
Hm, that one wasn't my doing. I wonder who arranged it.   
I nod. "Good. Are you doing alright?" I ask. I'm concerned still, I still can't decipher her exact thoughts. She could be sad right now and I'd have no idea.   
She nods slowly. "Yes. I am fine."   
I know she doesn't love my hands being on her shoulders, but she won't stay still and look me in the eye otherwise. So in this position I will stay.   
I decide to tell her that I've arranged for her safety. I might as well, what do I have to lose?  
"I've spoken to Evelyn. She won't be shooting you unless you try to make a comeback." I explain. She looks like she's thinking harder than usual immediately after i say this. "Right. But why wouldn't she? You realise I am essentially her arch enemy, behind Marcus and the faction system." She says, her eyebrow arching. There's her logic trying to work this out.   
I sigh. "Trust me on this one, for once. There isn't really any logical explanation for this, it's just the current situation." I say, smiling at her.  
I feel like she needed the smile.   
However, nothing can prepare me for what's about to happen.   
I watch as her calm expression changes quickly to that of fear.   
I hear her practically screaming my name as time starts going slowly.  
A loud crack of a gun firing goes off in my ears.   
And then there's a bullet in my back.   
There's nothing to stop me from hitting the floor. I unfortunately know exactly what just happened.   
Immediately, Jeanine is above me, trying to put her medical training into practise. She's got no chance without proper tools and technology.   
I know there's no hope, I can tell that from the pain i'm feeling. I'm going to die, and I'm going to do so very quickly.   
I don't even have to look up to know that Evelyn decided to shoot me instead of Jeanine.   
How ironic.   
Technically speaking, she didn't go back on her promise. Not that she fulfilled it properly, either- killing me was not part of the bargain.   
"Ben. Look at me." I hear Jeanine say, and I turn my head so i'm looking her in the eyes. Her stormy grey eyes.   
Her eyes are wide and watery with tears i doubt she'll actually let fall.   
"Hi." I say with a weak smile. I'm oddly calm, but i suppose that's good, as Jeanine doesn't need me panicking to make this worse. If I cry, i can see her losing control.   
This comes with the worst side effect.   
I'm going to have to leave my best friend.   
Forever.   
I don't try to hide that this is disheartening. That is the only thing that stops me from being alright with dying.   
I reach up and cup a hand around her cheek. Her face is hot to the touch.   
"You're beautiful, Jeanine. I've always thought that." I whisper with a slight laugh. I feel giddy, which is very odd. I guess it is hysteria.   
She doesn't think it's funny, nor does she think it's appropriate.   
"Shut up with your compliments, you need to be focusing on staying alive..." she says, her voice trailing off. She's frantic- she lost control of this situation, and that scares her. It always has terrified her to lose her grip on controlling everything.   
Evelyn hasn't left- I can still feel her presence. She's probably watching just for kicks. I wouldn't be surprised, it seems to fit her personality perfectly.   
"No, listen. You can make it through this. Evelyn won't kill you, she won't. That would be boring, and Prior is... fixated on keeping you alive." I explain quickly. I'm running out of time. I have to speak quickly.   
"Take care of yourself. Eat. Drink. Sleep. Let yourself feel. Please, Jeanine. That's all I ask. Don't make yourself miserable, please.. that's my dying wish."   
I reach up and wipe one of her tears that slides down her cheek. Her bottom lip quivers, threatening to let more tears fall along with a sob.   
"And cry once and a while, will you?" I ask, still smiling a little.   
She wants to speak, but her voice is choked by emotion. I frown at how upset she looks.   
I bring her closer and kiss her forehead gently.   
It's getting harder and harder to stay awake. I have to bide my time.   
"You can do this." I whisper, taking her hand with my free hand.   
She once again tries to protest, but her words are lost in her throat.   
Before i can help it, my eyes are closed.   
Time gets slower.   
And then it all becomes bright.

Jeanine's POV  
I surprise myself when I don't end up throwing up like I thought that I would. I was able to swallow the vomit in my throat.   
I stare down at Ben.   
My best friend, my only friend.   
Dead.   
Sounds exactly like my long faded and now irreparable relationship with Andrew Prior.   
This seems to continually be happening, like some sort of pattern.   
It seems I am cursed.   
As soon as I wipe away the remaining tears that cloud my vision, I look up.   
There she is, in all her emaciated, factionless glory.   
Evelyn Johnson.    
"How dare you?" I half growl. Anger ignites itself in me.   
I want to pounce on this woman and kill her. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no physical strength. I would lose to her in a fight, and then join Ben.   
She laughs emptily.   
"Imagine how it felt to find out that you had made it your mission to kill the Divergents of this city. Jeanine, you deserve so much worse than this. You're quite lucky I don't feel like treating you worse." she says, walking into the sunlight so I can see her fully.   
She smirks at my miserable expression.   
"Aw, did you actually care about someone? Is that why you're crying?" She mocks.   
That's enough to bring me to my feet.   
I don't even think about doing it- it's a subconscious action.   
At this, she just laughs.   
"Jeanine, do you honestly think you have a chance against me?" She further taunts me. That pisses me off.   
"You best hope I don't." i say, staring her down.   
I'm stuck between punching her with all the strength in my body, or just stepping away. Punching her would result in a broken hand that would most likely not receive medical care.   
Not to mention I'm acting on my emotions instead of logic.   
Instead of stepping forward like the animal inside of me wants to, I back up until I'm sitting on one of the benches.   
I keep my eyes away from Ben, straighten my posture, and simply stare at Evelyn. Staring is something I excel at.   
Inside me, I want to scream, cry, and hit someone.   
But that is childish, as well as something a Dauntless would do.   
So I don't.   
I stare at Evelyn until she gets bored, and then she leaves with an eye roll.   
The guards enter my cell the minute Evelyn orders them to on her way out.   
Before they can drag my dead friend away, I speak up.   
"Wait." I say, making both of the factionless men stop. Before they can protest, I walk over, kneel next to Ben, and take a look at him one last time.   
I will miss his smile, above all.   
I heave out a sigh, and struggle to ignore the choking feeling.   
I gently move his shirt and jacket away from his neck, where I find exactly what I'm looking for.   
A silver chain. A necklace he hides because necklaces are stereotyped as feminine.    
I turn the chain so that I can unclasp it, and once I've done so successfully, I hold up the necklace. It is truly something of his that has always caught my eye.   
It's a pendant of the Erudite eye, the faction I have pledged allegiance to essentially since I was born.   
I get up and back away, clasping the necklace behind my neck.   
I will never forget whose side I'm on now, no matter who tries to convince me otherwise.   
I am loyal to my faction and its members.  
But above all, the only one I'm loyal to, and the only one I can control is myself.   
This will never happen again.


End file.
